Meetings Anonymous

So I am stuck in yet another staff meeting. The windows are wide open but the air isn't moving, and I would guess it is about 32 degrees outside, nevermind the indoors. I am doing my best not to let my head crash onto the table in front of me, and to stop the drool from escaping my half-open mouth -- such is the stupor I am in danger of succumbing to. There are thirty other teachers in the room and I don't know how they do it. I can't decide if it is any help to actually understand what is being said around me, but I am certain a lack of relevancy is not helping my nearly lost cause.

I keep dreaming about the big chunk of watermelon in the fridge, waiting for me until this meeting is done. If someone's stolen it already I may get a little postal as that is all that has got me conscious right now.

Apparently today's goal is to finish the meeting by 4:30, which is usually nothing more than a pipe dream, however the teacher in charge of today's meeting is blasting through everything, suggesting frequently that, "you can make any suggestions directly to the person involved later." It's 4:19 right now, and I think he could be on track to do it. The only wild cards are the principal and vice principal , either of whom might be cruelly and unnecessarily move by a sadistic spirit of oratory.

Ishida sensei's eyes darted another sideways glance at the clock right now, which is harder than it sounds as he is seated directly facing it. 4:23. Kamisaka sensei seems to be doing his best to blow through his part in time and the goal seems to be within reach. I have given up on all pretense of paying attention and trying to follow; I am flat out watching the clock, being made dizzy with excitement as I watch the second hand wind it's way around.

We have ventured into the "does anyone have anything else to add to the meeting who wasn't sorted enough to get it on the itinerary on time?" 4:26. The wheels are so close to coming of the wagon as a third and fourth person raise their hands, although at least one is doing his best to keep us on pace as he speaks rapid-fire about events I will not be present for. 4:28. The vice principal jumps in, delaying Mihara sensei and giving Seno sensei an opportunity to gather her wits and request time too. 4:30'42.It is now time for the final closing words from the principal. He has a tendency towards verbal diarrhea, which is unfortunate (or perhaps not) as he rarely speaks loud enough for everyone to hear. 4:31'15 and the school chimes ring to mark 4:30, suggesting that at least one clock somewhere is not quite accurate.

Nicely done, just under the wire, and premature applause bursts forth as we go straight into another meeting. It was so close, and my mouth is watering for that red slab of juicy, sticky watermelon...