Vanity Fair

I grew up in the Catholic school system and learned from an early age that vanity is a sin, but I wondered when you cross the line from vanity to pride? What makes one so different from the other? I would assume the Catholic Church isn't trying to raise and create a nest of unconfident devotees, or else where would they find the courage to believe in the church as right? You can't have confidence in what you believe if you don't believe in yourself, which should require confidence and some level of pride in self. Although maybe the key to faith is the blind believing without anything to back it up and that's what makes the church work.

This is too incoherent for me to continue, so off to new frontiers.

I firmly believe that if you want to be an artist of some kind you have to be confident and proud of yourself and what you can do. You have to be willing to shove your work in other people's faces and say, "look at this, this is good, I am skilled." Their opinions can matter and help but you can't let them detract from your own belief that you are skilled at what you do and should carry on regardless of people's praises and criticisms.

As of next week Thursday, I am studying Japanese at a school in Aichi ken. I hear tell that because Aichi is in a valley it is unbearably hot in the summer, as the hot air falls into the valley and seems too languid to climb its way out. My goal for Japanese seems to be very fluid, venturing from my lofty ambitions of perhaps studying for and taking the level 2 Japanese test -- ideally passing -- to merely having conversations without my throwing in "what's that mean?" or "you know, it's kind of like this, what do you call that?" and leaving my fellow co-workers impressed rather than befuddled and head-scratching. Ambition is good. But is it that far from selfishness? Catholic school is a wonderful place to get a secular education but I fear it can leave your head in a state you will spend years muddling your way out of.