Sex Friend

On Saturday, Rie came over for lunch and Miho for dinner. The original plan was lunch for both but Miho was busy with koto practice, and couldn't make it until about 4:30, and Rie had evening plans and had to leave by 5:30. All very haphazard, eating the same meal in shifts.

Conversation with Rie was normal as normal can be when you consider that I was conversing with a quirky Japanese woman whose thought patterns sometimes make leaps I can't quite follow (for example, after the djembe practice, she told Ted and I she was like a married woman's lover, with reference to me?). Things are often unclear and I can't always blame it on the language barrier.

With Miho, the topic of conversation was very clear but I don't know why it came to that. I am fairly certain I blew Miho's mind without ever having the intention of doing so.

She declared to me she was looking for a boyfriend she would only have to see once or twice a month, preferably living in the same city as she, and that ideally, they would just talk, go to the movies and hold hands. To this declaration I replied all she really needs is a friend. Where is the sex, I asked. Sex doesn't matter, she responded. So what do you need a boyfriend for, I asked...

She told me the story of a man she had dated for 2 years who lived in a different prefecture, and as the relationship progressed she would see him but once every 2 to 3 months, however they often spoke on the phone. And when they did meet in person, the sex was entirely incidental as far as she was concerned -- even going so far as to fall asleep during. I decided that it probably wasn't good sex, and suggested that. Miho stated that no, it was good sex...probably. The qualifier undercut her argument. Perhaps she has never really had good sex, I asked, and she replied that yes, she has.

At this point we were interrupted by her ringing mobile -- a call from a teacher she used to work with at a Yonago high school. While she conversed, I looked up a word in Japanese that I felt would help me make my point, showing it to her on the electronic dictionary while she chatted. She started to laugh and couldn't stop, explaining to the teacher that she was very sorry, she was at a friend's house and the friend had just told her a dirty joke. The teacher never asked what the joke was, which surprised me more than anything, as I would have loved to have heard Miho explaining our chosen topic of conversation for the evening.

When the call was over, she said that her satisfaction comes when the man is satisfied, as she then gets to cuddle. I attempted to explain that it doesn't have to be that way, hinting that she should try and find out what she likes about sex so that she can make sure she gets it. She was shocked by the idea that a woman could, or would, satisfy herself, announcing that only men masturbate. In an attempt to prove otherwise, I phoned friends who I knew would wholeheartedly disagree, and be more than happy to tell her so. She was thoroughly shocked and I am sure that I shall be forever associated with sex in her mind -- a role that I have never had with any other friends, and is a little disturbing to me that I have now become that. I sent her home with a bottle of liquor and the recommendation that she enjoy herself in the bath for a little while before she go to bed, and she said she was going to call all her friends and ask them if they have ever tried such a thing.

I swear, I am a good Catholic school girl,and am not entirely certain how I have come to be Miho's "sex" friend.